Sponsored LinksFun Online GamesMy Other PagesHey all! It’s sure has been a long time since I posted last. And a lot has happened. I won’t bore with the details unless someone asks. lol!
Ok…at the moment I’m trying to get this page to connect with my new FaceBook Fan Page. Still working out the process. I’ll try and keep you all posted.
Have a great one!
Oh man!!! Now these are really amazingly classic. Thank goodness I haven’t done anything this dumb so far. LOL!!!
A mother was taking a shower when her 2 year old so n came in to the bathroom and proceeded to wrap himself in toilet paper.Even though he had made quite a mess his mother thought he looked adorable and decided to run for her camera and take a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one in each Christmas card. Days later, her aunt calls about the picture that was sent, laughing hysterically, tells her niece to take a closer look at the picture. Staring at the picture, the mother was embarrassingly surprised to find that not only had she taken a picture of her son looking adorable but caught herself clearly in the reflection of the mirror, wearing nothing but her camera!
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A lady went to a discount store to pick several womanly essential items. When she finally arrived at the check stand, she was told that one of her items of missing a price tag. Can you imagine the embarrassment, when the clerk gets on the intercom and asks, ” Price check on super size Tampax box.” If that wasn’t bad, it got worse. Another employee, mishearing Tampax hears Thumbtacks instead. In a clear booming voice, the employee returns a questions over the intercom, “Do you want the ones you can push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?” At this, the lady promptly left the store, no items in hand.
Well…I hope you liked these. I’ll post more soon!
LOL!!! I can’t get enough of these. They are so true!!
Part Deux!!
AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Oh man!! I love this thing!! So true!!
People who accidentally shot themselves recently:
A 44-year-old man, shoving a shotgun down his pant leg after an argument with his girlfriend, blew his little toe off (Alameda, Calif., July).
A 21-year-old man, stopping in an alley to urinate with a gun in his pocket, shot himself in the thigh (South Bend, Ind., July).
A 26-year-old man, teaching gun safety to two people, was killed when he fired his supposedly unloaded gun at his own head (Phoenix, May).
A 15-year-old boy impulsively grabbed the gun that was slipping down his pants from his waistband and shot himself in the penis
(Brooklyn, N.Y., September). [Alameda Sun, 7-9-09] [South Bend Tribune, 7-29-09] [Arizona Daily Star, 5-18-09] [New York Post, 9-5-09]
LAKE WORTH, Fla. – Authorities say a 91-year-old South Florida man jumped out of bed naked and held an intruder at gunpoint until deputies arrived.
Just picked this up on Yahoo News. Don’t mess with the old folks!
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The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office said Robert E. Thompson woke up Saturday morning after a would-be burglar climbed his backyard fence and was met by his charging dog, Rettt, a Rottweiler and Doberman pinscher mix. Thompson heard the commotion, grabbed his .38-caliber revolver and phoned police without ever getting dressed.
Deputies say Thompson fired a warning shot as 26-year-old Jose Pasqual started to come toward him. Thompson kept his gun trained on Pasqual until deputies arrived.
Pasqual was booked in the Palm Beach County Jail on a burglary charge and did not immediately have an attorney.
Here are couple jokes I thought were just great!!
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A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks the biggest sow.
When he’s done, the little boy sits down for breakfast but his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
“Dry cereal? Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?” asks the little boy.
His mother replies, “I saw you kick the cow, so you don’t get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don’t get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don’t get any bacon!”
Just as she finishes saying this, the boy’s father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat.
The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, “Do you want to tell him, or can I?”
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Timothy Flannery went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. ‘Father’, he confessed, ‘Father, It has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Cookie Green twice last month.’
The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven, Tim. Go and say three Hail Mary’s.’
Soon thereafter, Patrick Kelly entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Cookie Green twice a week for the past two months.’
This time, the priest questioned, ‘Patrick, who is this Cookie Green?’
‘A new woman in the neighborhood.’ Mr. Kelly replied.
‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. ‘Go and say ten Hail Mary’s.’
Later on that afternoon, Mary O’Conner came into confession . ‘Father’, she confessed, ‘It has been one week since my last confession. I had lesbian sex with Cookie Green last night.’
‘This is a great sin Mary…’ sighed the priest. ‘May our Lord Jesus Christ absolve you; and by His authority I absolve you from every bond of excommunication and interdict, so far as my power allows and your needs require. Thereupon, I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.’
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, huge breasted, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was bright green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green sequin shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread wide apart, enough for them to to realize she wasn’t wearing any underwear.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Michael, is that Cookie Green?’
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to whisper back, ‘No Father, I think it’s just the reflection from her shoes.’
This song rocks!!
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